Sanctions from the US? Kidnapping and releasing British soldiers?

These days the President of Iran is worried about other issues. “I found myself again…nuclear reactors are so 2005. I’m going to blow up the world, like Frank Sinatra, my way.” Ahmadinejad adopted a tight regimen in preparation for his festive guest appearance on Aniboom Eyedoll. “I quit the meat, older women and fig anise” he confesses, “and I learned a lot about Simon from the 15 British guests who recently stayed in my humble abode.” The president of Iran will share his knowledge and experience in workshops created for the Eyedoll contestants. Rather than try to discredit the internet rumors that have been popping up recently,he took it like a man, “It’s true! I‘m going to say it before those bastards from the CIA leak it out: I feel very comfortable, level-headed, calculated and most importantly, free, in women’s clothing”. In suit with his feminine wardrobe, rumors have been buzzing about Ahmadinejad’s new line of energy drinks, “Nok-Turnal”, which he created for women “who need help getting their engines started, if you know what I mean”