NEVER CHANGE A WINNING HORSE

The echo of the voting tabulation scandal of Eyedoll 2005 has yet to fade and already the controversial winner Felix is back again, proving once again that cats aren't the only ones with nine lives. Felix jumped into the long lines outside the "SuperEyedoll Dome" stadium where auditions were being held, shoving other competitors out of his way. Together with the film crew that's been documenting every second of his life since his victory last year ("They're making the greatest reality TV show about me, and not about you, so f*** you"). "I didn't come to audition, I came to win. I already did it once, but where I come from, once is not enough, you always have to be number one. Even if you already are".

For someone who until a year ago was selling fake furs to senior citizens in Miami, has open police files for trading speed substitutes and importing hookers from third world countries, he sure behaves like a real star. "Sinatra. That's what I'm aiming for. Frank and I have more in common than liking young women, excellent scotch and dodgy casinos. Nobody told Frank what to sing and he always sang the same songs. That's why I decided to compete with the same song that brought me last year's victory. 'Never change a winning horse', that's what Frank always said".

Ms. Fatass, who was according to many, the Eyedoll favorite, is the first woman to be booted off the competition. Turns out that as opposed to her terrible driving skills, Ms. FatAss is quite the online surfer. She carefully chose a site which provides audiences with dull porno, onto which she uploaded her steaming hot nude photos. The site is for visually challenged people who show accordingly, challenged nudity.

The sexy smut was removed due to ongoing pressure from the Anorexic Puritan Association (APA), who interpreted the photos as a personal insult. The site administrator has a different explanation: What happened was a technical malfunction; the photos were uploaded in maximum quality and weighed a ton and the massive demand for downloading Ms. Fatass's photos simply caused the system to collapse. Our brainiest team is working on it right now in order to revive the link. Besides, what does she need this competition for anyways? We already offered Ms. Fatass her own TV show". .
 
 
 
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AniBOOM Eyedoll contestant, aka "The man with 1000 faces", has confessed. After a strenuous investigation, the international criminal was caught by the combined efforts of a FBI and Interpol team.

He disguised himself by taking on the identities of fictive characters such as Jack the Hacker, The Saw from Texas, Chucky the Lethal Doll, The Hansel and Gretel Witch and Winnie the Pooh. In admission of his guilt, the criminal stated to investigators, “Hey, I’ve been everything, man.”

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