Judge Slymin Bowell Tells It Like It Is
Born in a small Irish village and orphaned at age 3, Slymin pulled himself up from nothing with help from his pet Sheep, which he met while performing community services at the Rehab Institute for abused sheep and mules. Even though Slymin and Sheepy hit it off right away, they have had their share of relationship problems, and to this day are often seen bickering in public bathrooms. Nevertheless, due to Sheepy's support, Slymin went on to manage several successful pop music acts such as The Backwards Boys and Bittsy Tears. Slymin was recruited to AniBOOM Eyedoll in 2006 and serves as the counterpoint to Lola's supportive commentary. Slymin is also the creator of the incredibly successful television show, Melted Hubbies, which deals with the devastation of divorce and the struggles of men who are no longer husbands.
When he's not viciously berating contestants, Slymin enjoys bathing his pet Sheep and collecting WW2 era stamps. He lives in LA with his mutt, Lucifer, with weekend visits to Sheepy in Miami.
Hey Slymin, great to have you here. So. We've heard you practice being nasty in front of the mirror..how often do you practice?
Hmm..being nasty comes quite naturally to me, it's really my facial expressions that I need to work hard on. I've been trying to perfect my sneer and Lucifer, my dog, helps me out with the growling. He's an ugly mutt but he's got incredible vocal chords. 
I see...Let's talk about Aniboom EyeDoll. What qualities do you look for in a winning contestant?
I like large breasts. The bigger the bazoombas, the better.
Ha, you're a funny guy. But seriously, what gives someone star quality?
You've got nice breasts, did you try out?
I was thinking about it. SO..you've been criticized for being excessively harsh when it comes to your reactions to the contestants. What do you have to say to your critics? If you can't take the heat-get out of the kitchen. There's no place for a weeping pussy in the music industry and compared to what the contestants will have to face as professionals, I'm a stroll in the park. Or zoo. Or Central Park. I love America.
Right. So when you're not busy thrashing 'Aniboom EyeDoll' contestants, how do you like to spend your time?
Stretching people on the rack is pretty relaxing and I'm very active in community organizations, such as 'Inequality Now'. I also like salsa dancing.
Salsa dancing?
(Giggling)...Yes, Sheepy and I like to dance close.
Sheepy?
Yes, Sheepy's a big fan of Celia Cruz...he hates pop – it's a point of contention between us.
Speaking of contention...We've been seeing a lot of tension between you and Ryan on the show, what's up with that? Pretty boys like Ryan should burn in hell. He sugarcoats everything and seems to think Eyedoll is all about puppies and rainbows. I'm telling you, somewhere there's a village short of an idiot. Plus he wouldn't back me up when I wanted Sheepy added as a fourth judge. Sheepy deserved a shot – he's an excellent music critic! Anyway, Ryan Theebest is a worthless twit. I like to tell it how it is.
Have you seen any contestants that you think could be an AniBOOM winner?
No, they all suck. I think they meant to audition for the freak show next door.
Right...Who's your hero? Ghengis Khan – now there's a man who knew what he wanted and went after it!
Thanks for coming, Slymin.
Yes. Next time Sheepy's coming with me.